Friday, 30 August 2013

Tak Masuk Unibersiti tu Bodoh Ke?

sekarang aku sangat bersyukur dengan perbuatan staff unisel yang pundek tak reti nak key in nama aku bila aku register sem baru. mengundang kepada the cancellation of my duit PTPTN. pinjaman anda dibatalkan kerana anda berhenti belajar. dan aku agak bersyukur kerana PTPTN tak bagi aku sambung balik loan aku walaupun datangnya dari kesilapan staff unisel pundek itu.

lets start with first, of course, mentality rakyat malaysia. dari kecil kita selalu dengar mak bapak kita cakap "belajar rajin-rajin. nanti boleh masuk universiti". aku tak deny mak aku selalu cakap macam ni dulu. aku tak pernah rasa aku pandai. tak pernah rasa aku boleh score A semua subject. memang tak la nak semua A. aku dah sah-sah bodoh matematik. then of course la ku end up tak dapat masuk uitm. itu kot paling murah aku rasa selain kolej komuniti. but mak aku pun macam mak orang lain juga, nak juga aku masuk universiti. so aku end up masuk unisel. dah macam satu kewajiban dah. habis sekolah kena sambung belajar. kenapa? orang yang tak sambung belajar tak boleh hidup ke lepas sekolah? 

dengan mentality orang malaysia yang macam ini, opportunist dah nampak peluang depan mata. maka bermacam-macam la kolej yang dibuka. kalau company kecil yang buka pusat tuition pun dah push jadikan kolej, inikan pula kolej yang sedia ada. so these little colleges took out a loan. most of them in massive amount just to open either a new branch or a new college area. because they know kids will come in no matter if they have money or not. sebab PTPTN kan ada~

menteri cakap dengan ada nya budak-budak masuk kolej maka bila mereka keluar negara akan bertambah maju kerana mereka golongan intellect. intellect my ass le menteri oi. negara dah end up dengan ramai budak tak ada kerja. dah la tak ada kerja, hutang pula kena bayar. 

by the age of 24 seorang rakyat dah ada hutang sampai puluhan ribu. tak termasuk dengan loan kahwin yang confirm cecah 3 juta punya hantaran. loan kereta ferrari 4 biji lagi. loan banglo di hartamas lagi. masak lah weh. 

as for now i think kita boleh agak bersyukur yang PTPTN ni bukannya bank. BUT I HAVE NO DOUBT PTPTN akan apply banking license dengan alasan sebab ramai budak tak bayar hutang. and once di luluskan, by the age of 25, ramai yang dah di declare bankcrupt. melepas la kereta ferrari 4 biji. damn.

kenapa? orang yang tak masuk kolej tu semua bodoh ke?

as long as mentality orang kita rasa tak masuk universiti tu bodoh, selagi tu budak muda akan berhutang.

thank you staff pundek unisel. kerana kau, aku hanya perlu bayar amount yang aku dah dapat je.

Azrul Maulud


Monday, 17 June 2013

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Valentino Rossi dah cam ayam je. rasanya sebab accident 2 3 tahun lepas kot. Michael Schumacher decided to make a come back. join team Ross Brawn. dia budget boleh team up macam kat benetton dulu la kot. well, F1 kete cap ayam, mana boleh menang.

Alex Ferguson finally retires. Manchester United dah potong Liverpool. Liverpool panggil balik Kenny Dalglish, dia beli player mahal, tapi tak bagi main. David Moyes ganti Alex Ferguson, rasanya 3 tahun la kot sebelum Manchester United nak pegang title balik. Arsenal lagi sedih, dah 8 tahun tak ada title. jangan kata FA Cup, main League Cup pun kena kitai dengan Bradford.

Well, Atin got married to someone similar like you. business minded. pandai cakap. they both have a child named Sofya. another 1 kat dalam perut. Atin ada degree, grad dengan epic 3.9 CGPA.. kot. but come on. Atin kot. Well, Acap dah habis diploma, sekarang jaga shisha ucu. macam biasa, dia rajin, sekarang dia masyuk je. Alip, dah ada diploma. well at least 1 of them dah naik ambil scroll. Ona still confuse tak tahu nak buat apa lepas SPM. we're all trying to figure things out for her. Aishah, 2 tahun tak berlari, sambung masuk olahraga, jadi lembab. rasanya now dia dah betul-betul malas. you should check out her medal collection. nak gantung kat dinding kang penuh dinding rumah. mama. she's a supermom now. enough said.

atok, on both side dah meninggal. your dad passed away at age 93. gila milage. mom's dad passed away because of heart problem.

me? i got married November last year. we lived in Loke Yew after marriage. some puaka thing happened there so i decided to live at mom's house in shah alam. we're looking for a new house by the way. my in laws are good people. i started to play golf. remember when you joke about using your cane for golfing? haha. me, main golf. kelakar kot. but yeah, i have to admit, its not that easy at all.

there are a lot of thing i wanna say. but it might take forever kalau nak taip semua kat sini.

we're doing fine here. don't worry.

Happy Father's Day

Azrul Maulud






Thursday, 6 June 2013

Kemano Kau?

my relationship between me and my music "career" dah sama macam my relationship with my jaw breaking ex girlfriend. on and off again and again. but no, my music stuff won't end like how i destroyed her life (that's what she told everyone anyway).

a friend of mine gave me a link on a list of open mic run by Shaneil Devasier. so i started planning my next gig but sadly i have my own personal issue to deal with. and that is my own social skills. i didnt even make a call to the guy to book my seat. thankfully a friend of mine, Sufiz, planned to go on this one date and booked a seat for me too. thanks Sufiz.

the moment i stepped on the stage feels like the last time i got on stage was 15 years ago. everybody can see my hand were shaking when i'm holding my cup of tea. what? i can't drink tea in a bar? thank to this slot at frontera sol of mexico PJ, i think i can kickstart another push on my music "career". entah berapa kali nak kickstart aku pun tak tahu.

people keep asking me, organizers especially, "datang seorang ke bro?" or "la. takkan seorang je?" and "mana bandmates?". yeah, aku memang tengah cari line up. so far tak ada yang kekal. even band yang nak vocalist pun taknak ambil aku sebab aku tak rock. yeah. i pop. pop shit on your heads. until i find my line up, my Azrul Maulud's Music For Food project tak boleh jalan. so.... solo la. solo.

so where do i go from here? i can't really tell. i migth keep going on and on or maybe i'll stop for a few months just to get my hands shaking all over again on stage. i've chose this path and i won't stop. i know i won't stop.

good luck Azrul

Azrul Maulud


Friday, 10 May 2013

The Boy Inside a Man #1

"why do you have to make fun of everything all the time?" asked wifey.

"that's what you get for marrying me; the whole Azrul Maulud experience" aku jawab

Azrul Maulud

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Postman dan Lawyer

"kenapa kau ponteng sekolah merayap sampai ke kajang sana? kau dah besar nanti nak jadi apa? lawyer, doktor? ke jadi orang bodoh je?" kata Encik Maulud memaki hamun.

10 years old Azrul answered "kalau semua orang jadi lawyer, doktor, siapa nak jadi postman? siapa nak kutip sampah?"

PANNGGG!!!!! Encik Maulud melempang Azrul




i miss you dad

Azrul Maulud

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Scam Depan Mata

"belajar pandai-pandai tahu, nanti dah besar boleh masuk universiti"

yeah itu la yang kita dengar dari mula darjah satu sampai hari akhir SPM. tapi tak ramai orang sedar kita manusia ada 8 jenis intelligences. ada orang pandai matematik, ada orang pandai bahasa. ada orang pandai benda-benda yang teknikal. tak ramai orang yang pandai semua benda. kebanyakkan rakan sekelas aku kat unisel dulu semua bingai matematik. especially yang bijak laksana. bagi sikit kuasa dua bagai dah pening.

but the thing aku nak cerita di sini bukan hal pandai matematik bodoh bahasa. tapi hal masuk universiti. kenapa wajib ke masuk universiti tu? bila keluar nanti orang pandang tinggi ke? bila dah habis belajar nanti confirm dapat kerja gaji tinggi ke?

but the truth is semua orang boleh nampak. bukan semua lepasan SPM boleh masuk UiTM. yes. the cheapest of all universities in Malaysia. some say its the best. what other choices untuk orang macam aku yang hanya dapat 1 A je SPM? apa lagi kalau tak masuk private. what must is a must. so off i go masuk UNiSEL. masa aku baru lepas SPM parents aku tak sekaya sebelum tahun-tahun berikutnya. nak taknak aku kena apply biasiswa. mana la nak dapat biasiswa kat private universiti. kalau ada cable tu dapat la mara. the only choice untuk orang yang tak berapa nak kaya macam aku adalah PTPTN. of course bila kau tengah buat degree di private universiti kau akan dapat lebih dari harga yuran the whole course.

the good thing about PTPTN is mereka provide something untuk kita semua merasa belajar di universiti. on the flip side, bila kita semua habis belajar dan ambil gambar dapat scroll dan gantung di dinding, kita dah ada hutang 50 ribu. umur 22 tahun, hutang dah 50 ribu. esok nak buat loan kereta lagi, nak beli rumah lagi... nak kahwin lagi. at the end of the day semua student private college habis belajar, kerja semata nak bayar hutang.

so then the pembangkang tulis dalam manifesto mereka yang PTPTN akan di gantikan dengan biasiswa. budak-budak muda suka la bila tak bayar hutang. but the truth is aku tak nampak benda ni boleh roll untuk student-student yang akan datang. unless of course, cukai rokok tu memang boleh cover banyak benda macam yang aku sangka.

pernah tak kau tertanya-tanya, kenapa kita mesti masuk universiti? kenapa tak pergi ambil sijil di kelas-kelas atau kursus-kursus kecil? kena ada sijil dari universiti baru boleh dapat kerja ke? baru boleh hidup mewah ke? ada veteran dulu sijil takat SRP je, sekarang kaya juga. kenapa veteran tu boleh kenapa kita yang muda ni tak boleh? kenapa kita tak pergi kolej komuniti yang agak lagi murah dari private universiti yang ada. ahh. of course, orang malaysia, tak classy la kalau pergi kolej komunit. but fuck you yeah, orang yang p kolej komuniti tak ada hutang melambung macam kebanyakkan kita yang ada.

there's a whole wide world out there. banyak benda untuk student student ni explore. with guidance mesti ada yang jumpa satu benda untuk buat sampai berjaya tanpa perlu berhutang semata nak masuk universiti. universiti ni dah macam satu-satunya pilihan sebab semua orang dah lama berfikir begitu. there are other choices cuma kita tak pernah nampak. so why universiti?

back to PTPTN. mereka nampak peluang buat duit depan mata. and mereka dah lama mulakan pun. dah nama pun loan mesti la ada interest. buat duit kot PTPTN.

scam depan mata.
mentality kaburkan semua.

Azrul Maulud

Monday, 29 April 2013

Makan Masa

lately aku banyak tulis lagu melayu. otak aku lembab sikit nak tulis lagu melayu ni sebab aku tak reti berbunga. even lagu english aku pun tak berbunga. tepek je kat muka senang faham. latest aku tulis lagu tajuk "Hati Batu". tak terasa nak recording betul-betul lagi. banyak masa lagi. biar lama-lama sikit, lepas 4 bulan baru try main sendiri tengok ada benda boleh tukar tak.

 first lagu melayu aku "Siapa Diriku". kisah chenta tak kesampaian aku masa belajar kat kolej dulu. it didn't took that much time to write that one. second aku dah tak ingat yang mana. tapi lagu melayu aku memang tak banyak pun.kurang sepuluh. berbanding lagu-lagu bodoh aku yang lain. wrote those for the sake of experience je. ada la juga lagu english yang buat main-main tapi aku puas hati.

aku rasa lagu melayu aku paling epic aku pernah tulis is "Cintaku (Tidur Lagi)". aku start tulis pada tahun 2008. dapat tulis verse pertama je masa tu. bila aku kenal dengan bini aku idea datang mencurah dan aku terus try sambung lagu. habis tulis puas hati bagai pada tahun 2010. aku tak terasa nak rekod pun lagu tu. tak pernah rasa nak main atas stage pun. tapi masa 2011, aku ada banyak masa sebab tak kerja kan, aku rekod lagu tu. outcome; aku puas hati except lead guitar. ahhh.. lead gitar lagu aku sentiasa macam lahanat. aku memang tak reti. tak ada teknik. takat petik-petik bodoh je boleh. maka lagu tu end up lead nya petik-petik bodoh.

"Hati Batu" aku masih lagi tak puas hati. ada satu benda yang tak kena. tapi aku tak tahu apa. mungkin Syaifullah boleh menampakkan apa yang aku tak nampak tu. aku cukup puas hati dengan 4 lagu yang kami pernah cipta. lagu melayu satu je pun. that was one hell of a time. betul-betul buat muzik sampai puas hati.

mungkin aku perlu banyak lagi membaca buku-buku bahasa melayu. mungkin aku perlu banyak layan puisi atau sajak melayu untuk memudahkan aku menulis lagu melayu. mungkin juga aku tak perlu semua itu kerana aku mungkin hanya perlu tepek di muka pada setiap masa. mungkin satu hari nanti aku tak perlu makan masa yang agak melampau lamanya untuk aku puas hati dengan apa yang aku dah tulis.

kembali ke pen dan kertas...

Azrul Maulud

Sunday, 28 April 2013

You Know What's Bullshit #1

First, Gangnam Style

Then came Harlem Shake

Now... Gwyomi?





what the fuck is wrong with the world today?

Azrul Maulud

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Politik itu Tahilembu

dah nak dekat pilihan raya dah ni. bendera dah bersepah-sepah dah ni. alamak. bendera jatuh tutup traffic light. haram tak tahu bila lampu hijau. ah. bedebah punya bendera logo basikal. siapa wakil rakyat dia kat sini? menyusahkan orang betul. gahh!! aku benci politik.

first of all, lets tune in to tv3. time ni lah tv3 kaut duit gomen bagi untuk sebarkan propaganda isu bekalan air dan duit ibu tunggal tak terbayar. time ni lah gomen nak menang hati rakyat. dah diorang je yang boleh pulihkan isu bekalan air tu nanti. janji ditepati. yeah. aku tak pernah doubt masalah air tu akan berlanjutan kalau gomen menang. semuanya kerana kebajikan rakyat perlu dijaga. oh for fuck sake. kebajikan rakyat punya janji ni bagi aku dah lapuk lah. overuse, bosan dan lame.

tak salah pun kalau seorang orang gomen datang keluar duit bagi settle masalah bekalan air tu. kenapa mesti tunggu lepas pilihanraya? kalau betul-betul nak jaga kebajikan rakyat, kau volunteer la settle kan masalah tu. kenapa nak rakyat tunggu-tunggu dengan tak mandi 3 bulan semata nak tunggu lepas pilihanraya?

"ah come on bro. inilah politik"

politik abah kau jaga kebajikan rakyat la sangat. lepas pilihanraya baru ada duit ke? apa gomen tak boleh bagi ke nak kasi settle masalah tu dulu? oh yeah. lepas pilihanraya ada duit lebih sikit. ah. aku dah cukup banyak kali tengok manusia berubah sebab duit. duit. punca segala kesyaitonan.

and on the other side of the party dok tarik anak muda. cakap nak turunkan harga kereta bagai. budak-budak muda suka la bila dengar harga kereta turun. im not really sure cukai kereta import turun ke tidak but kalau turun sure budak-budak nak kereta paling cikai pun vios. wahh.. syok oo semua pakai vios. apa barang kereta proton kalau harga turun sampai dua ringgit setengah pun. dah lah power window macam bodoh. asyik rosak je. tahi.

kids above 18 sure dah target kereta apa diorang nak beli. well, at least ptptn dah tak ada, maka mungkin tak ramai la yang pakai duit bayar down payment kereta. more and more cars will be on the road, jalan confirm jam. aku nak hantar adik aku p tuisyen pun mungkin akan mengambil masa setengah jam walaupun hanya seberang jalan. orang yang balik kerja makin stress dok sangkut dalam traffic. but hey, at least tol dah tak ada. come on. kita orang malaysia. janji ada kereta, stress pun tak apa. sampai rumah dengar anak memekak, pijak je.

aku masih benci politik dari dulu. politik yang buat manusia pecah belah sesama kita. semata politik, khutbah jumaat pun buat aku rasa macam nak pergi lempang muka yang berkhutbah tu. sebab politik juga lah isu bekalan air tak settle. dah nak kena tunggu lepas pilihanraya. orang dah tak mandi 3 bulan, lepas pilihanraya esoknya nak terus jalan ke? ke kena tunggu lagi 3 bulan baru selesai? 

politic equals bullshit.

orang dok kutuk ayah pin itu ini. ayah pin berjaya buat orang letak agama, parti politik bakal di pangkah, warna kulit, kerjaya, duit gaji dan pandu kereta jenis apa ketepi. politik tak boleh buat ini. sebab politik memang asalnya untuk memecah belahkan sesama manusia. ada je yang tak puas hati. semua benda tak betul. baik aku main game. lagi bagus.

Azrul Maulud

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Terima Kasih Amerika

i'm not a fan of the United States of America. 50 Americans' brain equals 1 brain of mine. they ran out of ideas for a movie. oh, don't let me start about music.. THEY SUCK!

you see, Japan owns Korean since 1910. upon the Japanese withdrawal from the Second World War in 1945, the Korean Peninsular was divided into two half, North and South.  The North are controlled by the Russia and the Americans owns the South. now you know how did North Korea became a socialist / communist / dictatorship country. they got it from the Russian. walla, now you know the history of your beloved Koreans~

i've watched it in discovery channels and history channels. my first impression on Korean War was "STUPID!". why the fuck did the war happened? The North and South Korea were divided on the 38th parallel north of the earth's equatorial plane (garis lintang khatulistiwa). the war started on the border. pushed further south and back north, and by the end of the war, the border did not moved. it is still the same as before, on the 38th parallel still.. bodoh bodoh bodoh bodoh gila. serupa takyah perang, ingatkan korang power gila wahai Americans.

a few days afterwards, i stumbled upon an article and a tv showcase on North Korea. they said North Koreans still run concentration camps. yeah yeah, we can't believe everything on TV. but still, let me tell you something about concentration camps. concentration camps tu tempat dictator kumpul prisoner. during the world war 2, concentration camps were the place where the Nazi's gassed, burn the jewish, or just let them rot to death. in North Korea, prisoners are slave, they worked, produce a lot of things. from what i remembered, they produced bras for the Russians. senang nak ingat, bra ke Russia. oh yeah!~ some other things that have been exported throughout the world. paling bes. North Korean dictator akan hukum seorang prisoner selama 3 generasi. so, kalo atok kene tangkap, maka anak dan cucu dia pon kena. tak kira la kalo dorang ade buat salah ke tak. 

talked to a friend and a question came to me mind:

"what if the Americans didn't help the South Korean during the Korean War?"

yes, the North Korea would take over the whole peninsular and run their dictatorship. then ape yang kita takkan dapat if those Americans tak tolong?

1) tiadalah Rain (is he Korean? ah, fuck off, who cares?)
2) tiadalah Winter Sonata dan segala series lembab yang lain
3) tiadalah jejaka tiada bakat menyanyi menari-nari di kaca TV
4) no Wonder Girls!!
5) kawan aku takkan jadi English Tutor untuk South Korean students.
6) tiadalah Erul AF9 yang batak K-Pop

ok, serious!!

1) Korea Peninsular would be infested by concentration camps (if the camps were true)
2) lagi ramai pelarian lari dari North Korea, infested kat negara-negara lain pula
3) lagi banyak orang mati kena seksa dalam penjara
4) lagi ramai orang mati kebuluran

So if Korea Peninsular is controlled by the Socialist North Korean, we wouldn't even get the chance to see Koreans linger around in our country. sebab mereka tak bagi orang mereka keluar dari negara dengan mudah. kalo ade pon, yang lari.

see, the numbers of refugees yang lari dari North Korea meningkat setiap tahun.(Link) da 20 tahun kekurangan makanan. kekurangan makanan ini berlaku kerana Russian communism sudah tumpas. maka takde supplement untuk North Korea lagi. North Korea is the most isolated country in the world. 

jadi, is it stupid for the Americans to fight the Korean War? No. its not stupid. at least the Americans prevented the Korea Peninsular from becoming a massacre field. 

don't judge me. AMERICAN MUSIC SUCKS!

sekiranya anda suka drama Korea, rase macam nak jilat je tv tu mase menonton, maka, hargai lah The United States of America. tanpa mereka, tiadalah Rain.

Azrul Maulud


Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Back to Square One

so I was not around. well not really. I spent most of my time in front of my laptop wasting my time playing league of legends and other mmorpg. yeah, 26 years old and still playing online games. they were good though. especially Star Wars The Old Republic. ahhh. epic game. fucking subscription.

oh yes. im married to my lovely wife. that very woman who went through a lot of shit just to be together. most of the shit came from me anyway. so we managed, after all those shit, we took that 4 5 years relationship to another level.

the bad thing about my life right now is that im dead broke. jobless. last december we open up a stall at a relative restaurant selling some kind of nasi ayam penyet, only we call it nasi bumbu. was nice until my wife lost her golden bracelet, the wedding gift. some creepy stuff happened after wards, found the bracelet back and we quit the stall. buka kedai makan ni orang melayu ramai hantar setan. zaman moden lagi ramai orang nak pakai sebab nak kejar iphone 5. tahun depan iphone 6. nenek kau la iphone6548.

then we took up a tender from my mom's office. we're caterers now. epic aku tak pernah siang ikan kena siang ikan 40 ekor terus. hahaha. sakai betul. the pay was nice. only if there are more than 25++ participant. nahh. I'm not gonna elaborate on what stuff and stuff shit. we are fucking small time caterers and that's that.

2 months after our first catering, my brother in law asked my wife for some help since she did a lot of stuff to run a company back in our working days. its kind of hard. since she wants to give another go with her company. and no, im not gonna fucking elaborate what company my wife owns. my wife is an owner of a company and that's that. and right now, this very moment i thought that we need to stop the catering since shes gonna be working on 3 things at one time, including the catering. the catering have to go. its tiring. totally tiring.

so no catering. that's why im here right now. jobless. help my wife. of course i will. my brother in law too. but  to tell the truth. a stall, catering or siting in the office doing paperwork, even sitting in front of the laptop playing online games for every single day is not where i want to be. nope. its not where i want to be.

lately i saw a lot of post on facebook. my fellow musicians. on stage. with their guitar. singing their soul out. and then i realized what have i lost. no. what im missing. that part of me that usually never stop trying. the thought of being on stage crack some fail stupid jokes and sing my lungs out. that's where i should be. that's what i'm missing.

and so i'm back to square one. no one else but me. yeah. i even told myself a long time ago

"if i have to do it alone, alone i will"

gotta ask my brother to help me out with the percussion for now. i'll be back on stage.

that's where i belong. that's what i need. the boost of confidence.

Azrul Maulud