Friday, 26 October 2012

Impian Yang Di Cancel

(Gibson SJ-200)

 first time aku nampak gitar ni, aku dengar bunyi dia, aku terus suka. dengan kata lain, Noel Gallagher, Yusuf Islam pun pakai gitar ni juga. tapi bila aku tahu harganya, aku rasa memang aku hidup dalam kotak la lepas beli. aku bukan kaya pun. kumpul-kumpul duit, confirm terpakai punya. dua tiga tahun macam tu, fed up la. maka aku sudah tak mahu beli dah gitar ni. tak sanggup aku hidup dalam kotak. tunggu la aku jadi retis dulu, aku beli 30 biji terus. buat hempuk kepala fan Justin Bieber.

 (epiphone EJ-200)

maka dengan ter-cancel-nya membeli Gibson SJ200, aku nak kejar gitar ni pula. Epiphone EJ200. bunyi memang ada lain sikit. berat pun lagi berat dari gibson tu. harga... tak boleh buat aku hidup dalam kotak. hahahahahahaa. itu paling penting. dah dapat esok beli sticker gibson, tampal kat kepala. settle masalah!

tunggu la kau syaiton! aku beli kau, simpan dalam almari!

Azrul Maulud

Monday, 22 October 2012

Mereka Yang Kita Dengar

aku dengan commentator bola sepak sentiasa ada isu. especially dengan our local football commentator. aku terasa tahap kebodohan aku meningkat selepas mendengar mereka ni mengulas perlawanan bola sepak. dulu masa family aku baru pasang astro, 1998, astro supersport memang start dwi bahasa. boleh dengar dalam bahasa melayu.

aku tanya bapak aku "bah, kenapa tak dengar yang melayu punya?"
"melayu punya mengarut, kelam kelibut, entah pape" jawab bapakku.

ok, lets not touch about arab punya commentator lagi epic dari malaysia.

"oh, pemain itu cuba melakukan sesuatu yang specular!" kata si Hasbullah awang. terdengar je, aku dengan adik-adik aku terus tergelak. apa ke susah sangat. cakap je la bahasa melayu. dah nama pun kau pengulas bahasa melayu. he was trying to say spectacular tapi dengan gagalnya.

masa Singapore lawan Malaysia kat Stadium Padang Besar, Singapore (World Cup Qualifier), Zainal Abiddin Rawop commentated the match. Malaysia kena kitai 5-3 malam tu. in the last 20 minutes of the match mamat ni mula bercakap pasal away goal system. which dengan result di Padang Besar tu, pasukan Malaysia hanya perlu 2 gol bila main dekat Bukit Jalil nanti in the second leg. yang bingainya, dia sendiri tak tahu how the system works. come on dude, kau football commentator tapi kau tak tahu away goal system? yes, kau commentate banyak sukan, but what the heck, away goal system tak tahu?

tak
tahu
away
goal
system
????????????????

and so he said he's going to get back into that to explain how the away goal system works. aku tunggu la bila dia nak terangkan. tak terang-terangkan juga. post match talk show pun dia tak explain juga.

if you are a football fan, dan kau tak tahu away goal system, elok kau tengok boling padang je.

then malaysia cup final 2012, ATM lawan Kelantan. aku terdengar dia sebut "di kelantan ada tujuh gol tempoh hari". what the fuck dude? apa kena mengena 7 gol tu? tujuh gol tu di Kelantan, group stage. match di Stadium Shah Alam. lain padang, lain badinya.

and yes, aku pun akan buat benda sama kalau aku commentate our national team punya match. which aku akan lebih menyokong national team sendiri. tapi kalau dah domestic league pun kau cakap 1 team tu je main cantik memang tak perlu la kau jadi commentator.

to me commentator bola should be on the neutral side. but come on, for every man who watch football mesti ada team yang dia sokong. tapi jangan lah obvious sangat sampai nampak kau sokong team mana. and in that malaysia cup final match, aku boleh tahu dia memang lah sokong Kelantan.

commentators are open to give opinions during a match. and his opinion memang biased to the fellas in red. susah sangat ke nak bagi pendapat that the player fell down to easy? susah sangat ke nak cakap linesman tak nampak bola kena tangan depan mata? susah sangat ke nak cakap "oh, pengadil membuat kesilapan di situ?".

and some of us thought that commentator should just commentate the match. cakap siapa pass bola, siapa terima bola. aku rasa orang macam ni agak mengarut sikit pemikirannya. imagine:

abu pass bola kepada awang.
ali memintas bola lalu cuba melakukan counter attack.
oh! abu melakukan satu tackle yang cantik untuk mengagalkan counter attack team ali.
bola keluar.
kita tunggu milo boy ambil bola.
lontaran ke dalam.
bola dapat kepada hassan. hassan membuat hantaran jauh.
ah! goalkeeper menangkap bola itu.

and it goes on and on and on for fucking 90 minutes. no facts, no records. no fucking opinions! sumpah bosan oi. kau takda pun nak membebel masa tengok match luar negara. commentator banyak bagi facts, records and opinion. oh what the fuck. kau tak faham bahasa inggeris. can't blame you for that. what's wrong with giving facts, and records during a match. like bila last time spurs kitai Man Utd. bila last time Liverpool menang league title. what. the. fuck. is. wrong. with. that? tak boleh?

our best sports commentator is still dato' rahim razali. but hell man. dia buat aku mengantuk.

Azrul Maulud


Tuesday, 16 October 2012

A Dead Friend

a good childhood friend of mine. we grew up together. so he went to secondary school and i'm stuck in primary school. befriended his younger brother who is the same age as mine. he was the one who had the latest console game in the neighborhood. it was a Sega Megadrive. sangat epic. we spent a lot of time in front of that crappy console.then his father took the whole family on holiday to disneyland. they came back. and by then, they had a playstation. it was one hell of a good console. a video game using a cd, who would've thought. during the early days he had that, his father won't let anyone inside the house. not until a year later. funny how is that the dad who i thought was kinda close to me would not let me in.

so i grew up with my own clicks. he went off with his. one day he came to me and asked "kau hisap rokok?". and i answered "i do". i was 14. then he said "kalau nak lepak, meh la lepak kat block belakang. kat kedai am". and so i went there after school to smoke. kedai am is a sanctuary to people who ponteng sekolah. one day he said. let's breakdance. and the whole clicks there were into it. so learnt a few moves. and he had his. the group was called The Floor Sweeper. i like it. they was about to go with Grasshopper. what the fuck? hopper? no way. and so one day he asked me to find some girls to dance. i did.

to make the long story short. he fell in love with one of the girl. well. none of the girls ever dance pun. posers. but yeah. he fell in love. and like many bollywood films. the brother of the girl did not like him. they were friends. he was never in love before. one day they fought. the brother and the friend of mine. one on one. fist with fist. though they were some of the brother's friend brought an engine piston as weapons. both of them fell down. it was a draw. the brother said to his sister, "kau jangan berkawan dengan mamat tu. dia budak tak elok. hisap dadah". and like many bollywood films, the sister ignored the brother.

since this friend of mine fell in love, he quit drugs. a lot of em. i spent most of my time around him. and i always ask about the lovers. he always said it was okay. they're still having it. the relationship. a year or two later the brother told his mom about the sister and the addict. and the mom was, of course, furious. she told the sister to break it up. which she, of course, ignored. they went on for another year. until the girl called it off. its not going anywhere and so she said. the mom did not fancy him. and they cant meet each other so often. and so he went back like he always did, to kedai am. hung out with us friends. and he started drugs again. and i watched every single moment of it. i was there.

shit happened at kedai am before. i moved on. finding my own new clicks. and yeah, i don't meet that childhood friend of mine that often anymore. a year or two later i went back to buy a pack of cigs at kedai am. and am's mom told me. "kau tau tak along, Abu dah jadi gila?". and i was like, "what the fuck cik?". and his best friend, told me the same thing. that the childhood friend of mine went crazy. and he's nowhere to be found. but i knew, he went off living with his uncle.

i've met him once in front of his house during his 'gila' period. he seems fine. he said he was doing music. learning violin at the moment. yeah, he had good fingers. grade 7 organist. he seems fine. but he avoided people. except me. maybe because he kinda figure out that i don't lepak at kedai am like i always do anymore.

years gone by. and he came to my sisters wedding. asked me for a lighter. smoke a cig. he was quiet. tried to talk to him. but no, he won't talk a shit. he got worse. maybe everyone was right. maybe. i stared at him today. at his brother's wedding. he was sitting at the pelamin. i looked into his eyes. from far away i can only see one thing. torment. he's bearing it all on his shoulder. that's how he look. everyone wants to take picture with the newly weds. he sat there. sat still. tormented. hiding it with fake smiles. during this time, i recalled back the whole thing that went through. the spent we spent together as child. he was fun and a loving friend. and he's dead. he's dead inside.

if only i could reach him. that i'm still the good friend i once was.
that it is okay to let it all out to someone instead of a wall. some people might say he needs therapy.
i say he needs a friend.
and i'm not dead yet.

Azrul Maulud

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Pilot

aku tak suka pen. tak suka pensel. objek-objek itu buatku lenguh tatkala menulis. plus, tulisan aku hodoh nak mampus. dalam hidup aku, aku kalau boleh nak guna pensel untuk melukis je. yeah. when i was young i love to draw. come on boys, we all love to draw when we were young.

disebabkan pen dan pensel, tak pernah aku terasa nak jadi penulis. lately aku banyak berangan. somehow i imagine myself being an author of a book. and semua orang cari buku aku. hah! sungguh impossible sebab aku tahu, kawan-kawan aku tak akan support. kalau dah kawan-kawan pun buat pekak, inikan pula yang bukan kawan. dan aku tetap salahkan pen dan pensel kerana buat tangan aku lenguh maka aku tak suka menulis. babi kau pen dan pensel.

i discovered keyboard when i was 11. typing memang ayam patuk beras kat tanah la time tu. as the speed grows, i feel like i kinda like it with this keyboard. tak penat. tak payah nak cari liquid paper atau pemadam nak padam mana yang salah dan buat permukaan kertas bertukar hodoh. keyboard, penyelamat dunia.

"so what about this blog then?"

aku suka mencarut. maka aku akan mencarut sesuka hati aku kat sini. jari jemari ku akan menekan keyboard sepantas mungkin untuk menyampaikan segala rage, segala isi kepala hotak dan segala apa yang aku angankan. it may turn out funny. it may turn out offensive. but what the fuck, mate? to hell with the kaki sontot.

Azrul Maulud